"Domestic Violence is not a result of provocation" - survivor Mercy Makinde shares word of advice

Mercy Makinde, an award-winning advocate for women and the girl child, went viral a year ago when her birthday surprise for her husband moved him to tears.

The founder of the Amazing Amazon Initiative, who was given out in marriage at 18 to a man older than her father, suffered severe domestic violence that she attempted suicide 3 times during her 11-year marriage. She eventually took the bold step to leave and found love again.

Ms. Makinde shared a side-by-side photo of what she looked like during the years she suffered domestic violence and what she looks like now that she's in a happy marriage.

The mother, who says she's not a victim of domestic violence but chooses to see herself as a victor, went on to say that DV is not a result of provocation, adding that an abuser needs no reason to abuse.

She wrote:

The picture on the left is me 12 years ago! Then a Victim now a Victor!.
I am one of the few fortunate to be alive. Some left in a body bag and while many still suffer Domestic violence because it remains widespread and is often considered "socially acceptable” in Nigeria. .
This is the reason family, friends and even some religious bodies do not see domestic violence as such a big deal. They believe it’s the outcome of provocation and admonish victims never to annoy their abusers . But these abusers don’t hit their bosses or colleagues who provoke them at work . They exercise restraints! .

Domestic Violence IS NOT A RESULT OF PROVOCATION. I’m writing this in capital letters and I hope it sinks in! Violence and Abuse is a tool used to enforce control, power and fear in a relationship or marriage and not a momentary expression of anger.
So stop judging victims by saying they were battered because of an imagined, perceived or rumored wrong or asking them annoying questions like “what did you do that made him beat you”. Questions like these are unintelligent and insensitive.
Violence against women isn't cultural, its criminal. Real men don't use violence! We must all join hands to eliminate violence against women and girls. Our women must feel and know that they are not alone! .

There is NO EXCUSE for Violence Against Women. And yes, no excuse for violence against men either.
Don't justify it....don't judge them!
I am a Victim turned Victor ready to help other victims. Join in , let's make a difference! .
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